Hi Dr. Schwartz,
I am a 45 year old divorced woman. I recently ended a relationship with a man I dated for 8 months. It was "love at first sight." We had been dating for 2 months when I took a vacation. we talked while I was on the trip and I thought we were very much in love. However, when I returned home I found he had been viewing dating sights. When I confronted him, he responded that he was "bored" while I was away. He also said it meant nothing.
I stayed with him but my gut instinct was to be more cautious and take things slower. I began to notice that he told lies very easily, such as, telling me that he had back surgery after he hurt is back. He also said that a car he was selling had NEVER been repaired when in fact it had been wrecked, etc.
I ended the relationship last week when he returned from a 2 week motorcycle trip that he took alone. He had previously mentioned an old girlfriend from college and I remembered her name. I thought it was somewhat odd that he mentioned her from time to time. Also, I thought it somewhat odd that someone would take a trip like that alone.
My instinct told me that something was "not right." Then I found out that this old girlfriend lived in the same state he was visiting. I called the hotel where he was staying and asked if anyone by the woman's name was staying there? I was shocked when they transferred me to her! She is a married woman, to the best of my knowledge. When he returned home I ended the relationship and I was accused of being paranoid and insecure. I would like your opinion on situations like this?
Thank You, Sad in WV
THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
- Dr. Schwartz responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
- Dr. Schwartz intends his responses to provide general educational information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by Dr. Schwartz to people submitting questions.
- Dr. Schwartz, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. Dr. Schwartz and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.